|Friday, September 2nd, 2005|
This is my last entry ever I s'pose. If i'm successful. I still ahve a lot of questions you could say but it will dpeend tonight. I have decided juts to take tabs till i fall unconcious.The tabs avalible, I ahve mentiolned some n i know there r random ones in our tabs boxes.
|Thursday, September 1st, 2005|
Skl, home life, mum, my life, the way things are, stupid fucking bitch, weirdos hating me, a loner...
Well I can allow myself 16 hours so thats that bit sorted. I can get hold of one bottle of vodka but when my mum is in bed maybe somemore. I don't know how much paracetemol is downstairs but there is asprin, co-codemol and my pitzotifen or whatever it is. And I can just take a couple of my allergy emd's beforehand.
I have found this
Paracetamol (Aka Acetaminopren / Tylenol)
Dosage: 15+ grammes, 20+ is better
Time: 10 hours fatal damage, but 2 weeks to actually die
Available: easy to get hold of
Certainty: fairly reliable
Notes: Once 10-12 hours is up, you've had it, but you still live for a week or two after that. Probably better to wait 15 hours just to make sure. Horrible side effects during this time (some of which are: acute toxic hepatitis, renal failure, cerebral oedema, intra-abdominal bleeding, aspiration pneumonia, haemophilia). Too small dose causes severe liver damage. Accidental deaths are very common. There are few if any side effects before the damage becomes fatal; occasionally vomitting and nausea.
I've come up with a suicide note. Different to originally planned. It just says i want any savageable organs to be donated n i want to be cremated.
|while i lay
I was thinking, and on silent witness once there was this girl who walked out infront of a train and died. I could do that, couldn't I?
at exactly midnight
it will happen
with no fight
and no pain
i've dont it all
got everything ready
satcked up tall
under my pillow
i don't know how many it'll take
to knock me out
after i ache
but hopefully it will be quick
my clock says its time
so you know what that means
this is my last rhyme
I'm never going to write again Current Mood: crappy
|Wednesday, August 31st, 2005|
I've been thinking about intoxication...
I was on my way to the shops this evening, and when I was waiting to cross I thought how easy it would be to walk out in front of a car.
I was looking at the Childline website earlier...
|Tuesday, August 30th, 2005|
I've been thinking- maybe I could sufforcate myself insted coz that way i wouldn't ahve top leave a note and it would seem like i did it in my sleep.
I don't know about stuff- i mean if i do actually do it as planned on friday it was course a bloody awful lot of upset. Especially to Sarah I think.
If anything stopps me it will be Sarah and or Natasha. Current Mood: crappy
|Monday, August 29th, 2005|
This mornign I was having second thoughts but then I had an arguemtn with my mum and now they have gone. Current Mood: gloomy
|Sunday, August 28th, 2005|
I don't think I could hack having my stomach pumped, which means I can't afford being unsuccessful
If suddenly I don't post any more you will know why...
|A Premature Ending
A Premature Ending.
I’ve come to a decision. And I have decided I will do it. I’ve decided I will OD, but I won’t go into detail as to why. On the envelope I’ll write ‘Only to be opened if I am successful’
I would really like to come back as a ghost, and I hope I will; but I don’t know.
In the suicide note I’ll mention this and if I am a ghost I will watch over everyone.
I’ve changed my msn name appropriately sop the next thing to do is write this suicide note. I reckon it will take a while.
I have many things to include in the note, they are; reasons why I have committed suicide, what my friends should be told, what I want done with my organs, whether I want to be cremated or buried, what to tell my close friends, Sarah and Natasha, messages for sites I am on such as HTV, what should be done with my folders, what to do with other belongings and sorry. Current Mood: gloomy
|Hello and Welcome
So this is my journal. I have started this for a reason. I mean I do like journals, well online ones but this one is special.
I want to keep a very detailed and regually updated journal up until I ....well we will come to that soon. I won't say at this moment as this first post is menat to be all happy.
I'm an Atheist and I have unusual tastes in a lot of things. I like a lot of people, but love few.
Some of my interests are: writing, reading, sleeping, cutsomizing clothes. However just see my interests list.
My best friends are: Sarah and Natasha. Natasha has been helping me heaps recetnly and I owe her lots. Sarah is a great mate and she knows I love her to bits and always will.
My celebrity crush is Daniel Radcliffe
A little fact about me- The song Fields of Gold by Eva Cassidy makes me cry.
Films I like:
The Perfect Storm
The Harry potter films
The Phantom of the Opera
Things I like to scrawl:
Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so <-- Shakespeare
Held up so high on such a breakable thread <-- Avril Lavigne
Begin each day as if it were on purpose<--Hitch(Will Smith) Current Mood: crappy